Diary
Sometimes a few sentences, sometimes a lot more
November '24
Hello. Looking at last month's entry I think this one is going to be much less focused. The thing with the girl didn't really work out. She said she wasn't prepared to date, I said it's fine, and now we're just friends again (though I still like her and she knows). I was quite sad for a while, but honestly I'm fine now, and I'm glad this didn't make things weird with her.
In other news, uni has been a bitch and a half. A couple of assignments have (and some still are) really got to me and I've been really frustrated sometimes. Thankfully my grades haven't tanked as much as I feel they should have, but I'm still bitter about it. I write this after the last day of class and before all my final exams. I'll be fine, I think.
Now that summer is coming, a lot of my friends are asking each other about summer plans, and I realized that I haven't really thought about what I want to do in the summer. It's not that I don't want to do anything, it's just that I can't really produce a concrete list of things when asked, so I'm going to work on that list before the end of exam season.
I've really picked up the pace with my 2024 album listening list, and I'm a bit amazed that I can keep finding so much good music.
Honestly I've been feeling bad/insecure about a bunch of things lately. I feel like I'm annoying and/or to my friends, I'm getting fat (not so much an insecurity as a fact), I waste way too much time on youtube, my hair looks terrible and I need a haircut. Writing these things out makes them seem much smaller than before. That's good I guess.
There's a lot of stuff on my mind but I'm not very good at putting it into words, so I never end up saying anything.
been listening to: Honeyglaze - Real Deal
October '24
Hello! This month has felt really long. This has (hopefully) been the busiest month in terms of uni work I've had this semester, and likely of my two years here so far. Exhausting, but I'm comforted by the idea that from now till the end of the year everything is going to be a bit calmer.
But I've still been able to find the time to do some other stuff I like. I'm now fairly good at origami, so far I know how to make a few different birds, a butterfly, a dragon, and my personal favorite, a rose. I also tried my hand at Spring into Action, but that didn't really pan out. I'll try again soon, I'm sure. I've also been reading a bit of the napkin project (a sort of casual-ish introduction to a variety of higher math), not as much as I'd like but I still feel like I'm learning a bit. Formula 1 has really delivered with these past couple races, and not just because I'm a ferrari fan (although the idea of their first title since 2008 sounds too good to be true), these last few races are gonna be amazing I'm sure. Finally, I've been making a lot of progress on my backlog of new albums I've been meaning to give a proper listen to. Origami Angel and Los Campesinos! Have produced some stuff I've been enjoying recently.
The website has been coming along nicely. I'm letting things grow out as slowly as they have to: I've revised the visuals slightly and have been adding really minor things to the pages I have so far. I know what pages I want to add, but I'm not rushing anything.
Now that I've gotten that out of the way: here's what I really want to talk about: I'm going out with the girl I like!! We were at a friend's birthday party and another friend was driving us back home. We sat in the backseat together and she asked me to hold hands. We did the entire (long) drive back. The next week we had our first date, we had some ice cream and sat in the park. I find it hard to process that any of this has actually happened. Obviously I consciously understand that we like each other and are dating*, but it's like I sometimes forget to act like it. I think part of it is that I haven't yet told my friends, although some of them definitely already know. We're going to have a second date sometime soon as of writing this, and I'm confident this feeling will probably fade away.
(*I use the term 'dating' specifically because I don't know what to call us yet. Where I live there are a few (like at least four) different words you can use to mean being “partners” in a way, and I have never understood the distinction between them, and so can't really use any.)
I'd say I'm generally adverse to taking big general lessons from the very specific things that happen to me, but I have to say that everything that has happened recently leads me to think that maybe I have to learn to go with the flow more often. I don't have to overthink anything, as long as I act how I feel and apply myself to my studies reasonably, I'm going to be fine. ¿Will I actually do any of this? Sorry I'm going into a tunnel I can't hear you oh wow ok bye.
Also the weather has been nice.
been listening to: Origami Angel - Feeling Not Found
September '24
Things are going along nicely. I feel like I'm making new friends and growing a lot closer with some others I've met recently. As for my older friends, it's a mixed bag. There's a couple that I'm seeing a lot more recently, but many others I barely talk to. Recently a couple of my best friends started dating, and it's weird given how they are two of the people I used to be closest with, and now I only ever hear from them when something like this happens.
It also gets me thinking that I should shoot my shot with the girl I like, but it seems like every time I might, something comes up that prevents me (or more likely, something comes up that I use as an excuse to back out). But honestly I enjoy the time we spend together regardless.
I had a week off for my country's national holidays, which of course I enjoyed by leaving the country to go to Buenos Aires. It was nice to get a break, but I think I spent a little too much time in my own head. But I got to ride a few trains, so I can't complain.
I'm trying to find time to do some small and cool things. I started doing origami this week, not sure where I got the idea from but It was a good idea. Fun and chill and cool and small. I've also been exploring cool websites that I've been finding through neocities. Speaking of which, this site is starting to come together really nicely. I'm feeling more comfortable with putting stuff here and have some ideas of what I want to do. I'm probably going to push the new version of the site sometime after writing this.
Spring has only just started but I want summer. I'm not a summer person, but this year I'm really craving the heat. I want to be able to leave my window open at night while I'm on vc with my friends at 3 am and still be hot.
been listening to: Lorde - Melodrama
August '24
Hello! I've been in a good mood lately. There's this group of friends at uni that I've been sort of around for a while now but I hadn't really gotten to know before, but this semester I've started to properly integrate with them (which I only realized when I got added to the group chat haha). So that has been great, and I have to admit I have been keeping some distance with most, but there's a few I really started to get along with. In other news, I'm really enjoying my classes and despite all the work, I'm having fun. I've never felt so much like I'm on the right track as right now.
I'm a bit embarrassed to talk about this but I've been crushing on a friend for a while now. Sometimes I flip on whether I like her or not but these days I'm fairly sure I do. I'm scared of saying anything because things could get really awkward, but maybe I'll work up the courage one of these days.
been listening to: Gracie Abrams - The Secret of Us / Death Cab for Cutie - Plans
July '24
Finished my finals, and so the semester is over. And as I'm writing this, I'm about to begin the next semester. It never ends. I kid mostly, this semester I get to take a course on transportation systems, which I'm looking forward to. Also I'm taking a course with a girl I like 😳 so that's going to be nice.
These past few weeks have been vacations and I've been having a blast. Here's a list of what I've done:
While that is mostly true, I've also been up to some other stuff. I randomly stumbled upon a yt video about warrior cats and proceeded to obsess for a few days. I used to read it when I was a kid, and it's been really cool connecting with it again and remembering all the crazy stuff that happened (the only thing I remembered clearly was Snowkit, which is not exactly the fondest memory). It's weird how little I remembered given that one of my usernames is actually a character from the series, but I guess it never really crossed my mind again until now.
I've also been gaming. The first thing I did when I finished my last exam was get home and create a new minecraft world, of course, which I played for about a week (I'm sure I'll get back to it one day). Then I completed Signalis, which I enjoyed but by god that game is way harder than it needs to be. Now I've been playing Rain World, specifically the Downpour slugcats. Gourmand was interesting and Artificer was really fun, though I'm now writing this right after rage-quitting Rivulet haha.
It's also been a great month for the sports I watch. I watched all of Argentina's matches for the Copa America, which they of course won beautifully, winning their third consecutive tournament and making them the most successful Argentine team in history, so that was fun. Formula 1 has also been really fun to watch. As a ferrari and Russell fan I am suffering, but as a F1 fan I'm having a blast. It really feels like every race things get crazier and crazier. I'm really looking forward to the back half of the season.
In summary: had a blast, but looking forward to the next few months.
been listening to: Los Campesinos! - We are Beautiful, We are Doomed
June '24
Not much has happened this month. It's been the last month of class before exams (which I am procrastinating studying for as I write this), so more busy than usual but not really soul-crushing or anything. One thing I have realized is that I have only gone out like twice this semester, so hopefully I can try to do more than that in the coming months. Which is not to say I haven't been social at all, it's just that a lot of my social interactions have been about schoolwork. Which I guess don't really count. The only thing I can really think of from this month is that I've been listening to some new albums, and have found some nice stuff so I'll be adding that to the 2024 albums list.
been listening to: Los Campesinos! - NO BLUES / Romance is Boring
May '24
This month started off with a week off from uni, which was nice, but I didn't really do much. Played through half of Signalis and learned to solve a Rubik's cube, then back to class.
But then as soon as I got back to classes, my city got hit with a bunch of rain and the street leading to my house was closed down because of snow. The snow is nice, not being able to leave home is not so nice. And a while after, I had to go to Buenos Aires for the weekend, so I left my house at 3am Saturday and returned at 10pm Sunday. And immediately got sick for the entire week (and still had to go to uni once because I had a test). A very fun month.
A couple of good news: This month I finally had to declare my major, which means I'm now officially doing mathematical engineering. Yippie. I also hit my highest ever rapid elo on chess.com, 1317.
I've also been spending some time thinking about a girl. I believe I am the first person in history to wonder if a girl likes me. But I haven't really had the chance to talk to her that much, mainly because of the aforementioned fun I've been having.
been listening to: Alvvays - Alvvays
April '24
It's been quite a month.
The semester started in march, but april is when it really kicks in: I had one or two tests every week, plus a similar amount of homework, which worked out to about 1 assessment per weekday. As much as I would like to complain about the workload, the truth is I'm actually really enjoying all my classes. It's funny, because two years ago I didn't even know I would be studying engineering, but now I cannot imagine myself doing anything else. I've started looking at the investigation that my teachers do. Of course I can't really understand much of it yet, I'm barely starting to take classes for my major, but I still find myself very interested in them.
Another cool thing about this year: two of my best friends are now in the same university as me! One of them switched uni, the other was already here but on a different campus. It's cool to be able to just get together anyday and talk over lunch, especially since this past year I felt like I was losing touch with them.
Over here, I've been working on reworking the site. It's like the third rework, but this one is different, I don't want to rush anything, and I don't want to overdo anything. I don't know when the updated version will go up, and right now that doesn't really matter to me.
been listening to: The Antlers - Hospice